So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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