just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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