quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
