This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We are two peas in an std pod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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