I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize