She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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