I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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