Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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