Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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