there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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