Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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