Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
