Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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