Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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