You don't have asthma, your pregnant
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Randomize
