I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
