I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
