I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
