Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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