I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
