She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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