Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
