How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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