He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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