2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
