pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
