smell my finger.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
