my vag is so smooth its legendary
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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