dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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