Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think people are normalizing furries
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
