Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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