Just cropdusted the office
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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