feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
