Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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