I want to make a zoo with you.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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