Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
