We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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