Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Drunk is not a location!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
