Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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