"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I fill condoms, not promises.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize