I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize