That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
