dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
