yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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