That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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