i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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