We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
