do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I am available for nakedness
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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