There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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