You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I wish you could order shots online.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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