fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
and she was petting her beer can
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I deserve this hangover.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
