Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
