Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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