So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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