WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
