so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
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