just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
